Engage with the Organized

4.8.19

I didn’t realize that,
as this place was filling me up with
valuable skills, it was also shifting
things around and out

Things which weren’t valuable in
the context I endure daily
and under the observation of
the greater group I belong to
known as Company

And so I’ve lost some stuff and
am losing some things that might
help me in the endeavor that is me
like using better words than
‘stuff’ and ‘things’ when trying
to grasp at the whatever
	…
I’m losing the tools one uses to explore
the world, the self, and all that
is between, beneath, and battered.

I can't even identify them beyond
their absence

“Engage with the organized,” they said
And I did
And now I am one of them
And maybe I always have been
And maybe I’m not actually
And am slightly feigning
	with or without success
But regardless
	I feel as though a fluidity has left me
	I’ve never had water but
	I once was able to rest where
	I was
	Wherever I found myself
	Wherever gravity pulled
	me
		Or so I reflect now
			as I break from production
		to produce
			to produce?
	or to induce some understanding
		of something