I Will Design and Build My Own Home Before I Turn 31

11.30.21

I was consumed by consumption
Like a black sheep scrambling on the planes
trying to find and eat green grass
even as the earth pulls it back in
like so many tongues retreating into
sullen and chastised mouths.

I caught myself in a moment and thought
if I am not feeding my time into
this organ grinder to make money,
I’m doing it to spend it.

That’s not true, but it was for
much of this weekend. This six day
Black Friday weekend. Thanksgiving was
great and I saw much of my family
and I hung lights on the house that is mine
and is becoming my home slowly.

I was going to say that my mind
	was stained black instead of turkey
	or with love from this weekend, but
	that’s not true at all.

Yes, I spent so much of these past
few days shopping but, in truth, the
grander view is that I spent this weekended
building a home, which is apparently so much
more than design and construction.

Before I turn 31, I said.

192 days.

I can still do this.